I Don’t Have Any Love or Time For The Self Obsessed
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It never ceases to amaze me just how self absorbed we as mortals can be and often to the point of utter obscenity.
Therein and recently I was in the company of someone whom I went to school with and for the entirety of that experience, he did nothing but bleat on about how bad his life was.
Yet here was a guy who has had a very good life, indeed a guy who’s always had multiple life changing options open to him.
A guy from a highly privileged background and a guy who’s inherited vast financial wealth several times in his life. Indeed a guy who wasn’t in the least bit interested in me, anyone or anything else I might add, simply a guy consumed by his own self obsessed sense of importance.
Perhaps thats why and to be brutally honest I was more than a little bit annoyed by this encounter, therein I abruptly closed our one way discussion down after 40 minutes of his self indulgence and poor me drivel.
A Time Out For Some Deep Reflection
In the most part I was annoyed with myself for simply allowing myself to fall into his trap; hook, line and sinker all the result of me simply letting my guard down. Nevertheless and in my personal annoyance however I was left feeling; how dare this guy jump out on me after all this time and attempt to reinvent both mine and his history and contaminate me with all his poor me crap, as if I should care.
Upon greater reflection it became clear to me that the thing that really bugged me about that experience was that it tapped into an area of deep hurt that I feel deep within me. A hurt that results from far to many hard knocks in my life, whilst simultaneously watching the sickening self indulgence of arseholes from afar.
The sort of people who have it all and think that’s their right, yet the very same people who in the greater part simply don’t give a hoot about others who may going through shit at point in their lives. Until that is they too experience the full wrath of mortality in all its fragility or simply hit a sticky financial patch themselves.
At which point everyone with a bit of insight automatically becomes their long lost buddy. Whereas the truth is they’ve walked by and ignored those rediscovered buddies for the best part of their buddies and their existence. Simply because prior to their reality check they’d deluded themselves completely into believing they were above the normal ravages of mortality.
That being said and after I’d calmed down from my encounter, I really got to thinking just what was the real message in that encounter for me. Moreover what was it that I needed to recognise, acknowledge and work upon within me? To enable me to evolve ever further.
Therein I recognised that it was my hurt and not his selfish agenda that needed to be acknowledged, worked upon and released. As for the selfish, self obsessed bore, well I’m sure he’ll find what he needs, but to be brutally honest he won’t get any further help or support from me.
Working Through The Hurt, The Hurt, The Hurt
Working through our hurts, our hurts, our deep seated hurts is probably the hardest journeys we’ll ever undertake as mortals. Yet the payback from that journey is probably the greatest gift we’ll ever receive down here on planet earth as mortals. For that is the journey that lifts us from the cesspit that is mortality and all it’s negativity.
For that journey takes us to dark and secret vaults which contain only the scars of our many past life and karmic traumas. Not pretty places to visit and for a whole host of reasons and yet once visited we never can be or ever will be the same soul again. For this is true rebirth via the fire, where all our illusions are stripped away.
Therein my healing journey to release my hurts, my hurts all my deep seated hurts truly began for me at the point I committed fully to “Recognising The Conscious Acts of My Mortality”. At which point my life dynamics changed completely and I changed accordingly, but you can read more on this subject by clicking [ here ]
Equally my conscious act of; “Reclaiming My Power” indeed that power which was stolen from me as a child, commenced some time ago, but you can read more about that journey by simply clicking [ here ] where there are links to shamanic healing views and free publications by Kay Gilliard and Tom Kenyon respectively.
Acknowledging The Instinctive Gift of Pure Love
I make no secret of the fact that I’ve had an extremely challenging mortality and because of that I have very few cherished memories that I can look back upon or indeed hold deer in times of great despair.
Nevertheless I do feel I’m blessed to have received three powerful gifts of pure love in my life, and those three powerful acts of love were nothing more than a hug, a rose and a kiss. All instinctive and all unconditional and therein all the greatest gifts I’ve ever received, but hey don’t just take my word for it, have a read and draw your own conclusions about my hug, rose and kiss below.
A Hug From A Giant
I was once mentored by a giant filled with love, a giant with such warmth and such generosity that he shaped my very way of seeing and of being. That man was my grandad and in the days just before he passed away, he hugged me like he’d never hugged me before. No words did he speak only tears rolled down his face and in that moment we both knew that his time here as a mortal was coming to an end.
Therein and as ever controlling his pain with dignity, he filled my heart with enough love to last me several life times moving forward. God bless you father, no grandson has ever had a grandad like you before and I don’t think any grandson ever will x
A Rose From A Rose
As a battled for my life in a body ravaged by disease an innocent little girl gave me a fragrant wild purple Rose and kiss on the cheek one bright summers morning. With only the words “I’ve picked this especially for you, stay safe “Bazdad”, thank you for loving me and making my mum so happy, just so you know bazda I love you too”.
Such was the purity and power of that gift of love that in that moment I was blessed with a renewed sense of determination. Heaven only knows where that additional resolve came from. But that is the power of love a simply almighty force and a force that no other force can ever eclipse or equal amen. Nicer than the average sprocket I’d say x
A Kiss From An Angel
In the midst of a storm all men are alone and yet for some if they are of good heart they may just be blessed by the company of an angel. Therein I was once kissed by an angel at the point I was all but spent, saying only this; “O bazda I do love you, please don’t leave me, you know I’m here for you always, you can and you will get better trust me”.
Indeed a turning point for me where my personal resolve contradicted all of my pain, all of my suffering and all that which was being clinically articulated too. Therein there is no greater gift as a man than unconditional love, for love has the power to rewrite anything and everything amen. Same planet Mrs, see you when you get there x
Authors Concluding Notes
I have no idea what the future holds for me, or how many more tests I will have to overcome before I take my last breath. Equally I have no idea just how much unconditional love I will receive and give, but really that’s of very little significance.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned via my own shamanic healing journey it’s that we cannot possibly love, heal or save any other soul that doesn’t want to be loved, heal or saved.
Therein our journey must remain focused and clear at all times affording us the love and the grace to stand back and read all the messages and signs as they present. For there is no healing and certainly no pure love, where we seek love via acts of insincerity.
Recent Articles You May Wish To Read
If you’d like to read how and why mainstream medicine implored me to become a shaman you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read my article the day the shaman bumped into an old school friend you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read why I give psychic vampires a cold shoulder you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read my article “we shared the same tears of unconditional love” you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read more about my shamanic energy medicine services and how it works you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read my article how walking with and in the footsteps of giants really changes our lives, you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read more about my supporting article “freedom the journey”, you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read more about my supporting article “when spirit nudges”, you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
Just so you know my “leading edge” shamanic teacher, supervisor and mentor is Briony Stott, click [ here ] to visit her website, a truly talented lady and a massive influence upon my own state of being.
Barry Hardy MSc, FBEng, FCMI, I.Eng, MIET, P.Eng, FSPE, MBIFM, F.I.Diag.Eng.
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