Only Compassion Sets Man apart from the Beasts in the Fields
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Some years ago whilst resting in Shaftesbury down in Dorset, the result of being desperately and chronically ill with late stage lymes disease and posterior inferior cerebella artery slamming into my brain stem and vestibular bundle. My view on mortality and spirituality were both tested and changed forever. In that my sense of divine intervention or should I say lack of it for the impoverished and desperately ill, was quite simply blown out of the water. A slightly oscillating schizophrenic view that remains unchanged to this present day.
For anyone who has never been to or heard of Shaftesbury in Dorset, it’s a charming little historic old english hill top town. Blessed with welcoming and friendly locals and the iconic gold hill and certainly a delightful place to visit. At the time of my residency in Shaftesbury however, I wasn’t there simply to take in its character. I was there because I was fighting a long battle to regain my well being and I’m not over stating things when I say I was actually fighting for my life.
In the middle of that mortal crisis, I did what I’ve always done throughout the entirety of my life, which is to try my level best to get by and cope without hurting any fellow mortal in the process. So for me and whilst staying in Shaftesbury that meant committing to hours of medical research whilst performing some unsolicited voluntary work for the local swans trust charity in the town. A time when my good friend was Dave the Man in a Hat and his incessantly itchy sheep dog widget, with the frequent cameo role from his step son Jake the dude.
Early one morning however as I set off up pilgrims way I was taken aback by a young man in his early 30′s who was walking towards me. His body or aura should I say was engulfed in a bright white light whereupon he politely said; “good morning and with great warmth”, albeit I could instinctively sense that all was not what it seemed with him. I’d never seen the guy before and was puzzled as to how he seemed to know me. Nevertheless and all that week the young guy crossed my path until one afternoon he came into a cafe near the local charity where I did most of my research.
As he sat down to place his order it was easy to see that he was highly embarrassed, for he was utterly consumed by involuntary head and upper limb jerking movements, life circumstances which immediately brought tears to my eyes. The strange thing is I tried to resist this feeling of compassion towards him, given that I was in the midst of my own unimaginable 24×7 mortal despair. So I turned my gaze to look at out of the cafe window and onto a small water feature, when suddenly my table was kicked and yet no one was even remotely in the vicinity.
At which point my gaze once more was drawn to the young guy who was now sitting outside, albeit he now had two angelic forms either side of him who were beckoning me to come forward. For a brief moment I was utterly transfixed unsure of my own sanity, until I gave way and approached the young man’s table.
“Hmnnnn hi I stuttered, do you mind if I join you my names Barry and I’m not gay so don’t worry or build your hopes up, but we seemed to have crossed paths several times this week”. At which point he beamed back at me and said “hi my names Benjamin no I mean yes please have a seat”. So I sat down but I have no idea why I said this to him; ” hmnnnn so Benjamin what’s going on and why do you need my help today?”.
At which point he just broke down and said; “O Barry I’m at my wits end, I can’t take anymore, I can’t take anymore of this condition”. How I didn’t burst into tears myself I have no idea because the sheer scale of Benjamin’s suffering simply enveloped my entire being. Yet here was I a guy desperately ill and racked with suicidal thoughts myself, in the presence of a soul at its wits end. I tell you; it doesn’t get any harder than that for a sensitive soul faced with the restrictions of mortality.
I sat with Benjamin for the best part of an hour, he told me about himself, his former addictions, how his mum was a nurse and worried sick about him, whilst I albeit attentive telephoned a good friend at the time who was an internationally recognised herbalist. Whereupon; through a brief discussion with her, managed to persuade her to see Benjamin on an emergency appointment that day.
I must say however, I’ve never ever felt so utterly broken by a situation like that in my life before or indeed since. I don’t know whether that was simply part of the magnitude of Benjamin’s suffering, my suffering and my inability to do anything to change that situation. By that I’m mean my inability to help him right there and then by taking his suffering away. Heavens above and I tell you I don’t think us mortals are designed for such situations and if we are then where is our instructions and coping manual? But enough already I’m starting to ramble.
I walked with Benjamin over to Annett’s surgery for his consultation with her and before parting gave him a hug and my telephone number and told him to call me any time. I then set off back to my own little terraced let down in tan yard lane which meant descending pilgrims way again. As I approached the summit of pilgrim’s way via priory parade, I was aware that two people were standing blocking my access to the path. But as I got nearer to them I was shocked to see that it was the two angelic forms that had beckoned me to Benjamin in the cafe.
As I approached them not a word did they say or indeed any gesture did they make, save for the fact that they simply stood there and smiled at me as I walked past them. When I turned back looking over my shoulder to sneak a double take, I discovered that they had simply disappeared. In that moment and to this day, there was and is no sense of relief, euphoria or elation around any aspect of this experience, simply a sense of unimaginable love and complete and utter desolation.
I never did hear from or ever see Benjamin again for I left Shaftesbury shortly after that for another neurosurgical procedure in Belgium, but in truth that experience still breaks my heart to this day. I know there wasn’t really much I could do for Benjamin given my own desperate condition, but I also know that I didn’t turn my back on his suffering either.
In all humility I’m not sure really what that experience or test was all about, especially at that dreadful time in my own life. I guess it’s just one more in a very long list of extraordinary things I’ve experienced on this mortal journey.
One thing’s for sure and I firmly believe this with all my heart; only those mortals who have felt profound despair for the plight of another whilst gripped within their own mortal crisis. Truly understand mortality in all its frailty, for they have felt love in a way that is simply unimaginable and indeed worlds apart from the mainstream use of that word today.
Therein I’m a big believer in the saying; “you don’t need eyes to see you need vision” I only wish far more mortals truly understood and lived in that zone too, for that too would generate far greater resources on the mortal compassion front and heaven knows that wouldn’t go amiss here on planet earth. Amen
Authors Concluding Notes
It’s important that I must stress that Benjamin is not the real name of the young man that I met at that time in my life and is simply a name I’ve used to protect his anonymity. In truth I have no idea whether Benjamin ever got through his mortal crisis; I hope he did and that he’s now well and truly in his own space of peace.
I believe in guardian angels just like I believe in so many things that my peers may find ever so challenging. The only area that really pulls on my heart and wobbles my all too real mortal sensitives is that the presence of guardian angels doesn’t always signify a breakthrough or indeed a good old mortal back slapping ending.
Sometimes they simply appear slightly more visibly vibrant within our own 3D realities, to let us see that other mortals are having it far tougher than we are. This I believe is simply their way of moving us out of our pain body and into our glory, with a bit of a prompt to say; “hey dude stop complaining, you’re not here to stand still you’re here to evolve and grow, now kindly get on with that but with a little less of the poor me drama……okay?”.
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If you’d like to read how and why mainstream medicine implored me to become a shaman you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
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If you’d like to read my article the day the shaman bumped into an old school friend you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
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If you’d like to read my article how walking with and in the footsteps of giants really changes our lives, you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read more about my supporting article “freedom the journey”, you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
If you’d like to read more about my supporting article “when spirit nudges”, you can do so by simply clicking [ here ]
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Just so you know my “leading edge” shamanic teacher, supervisor and mentor is Briony Stott, click [ here ] to visit her website, a truly talented lady and a massive influence upon my own state of being.
Barry Hardy MSc, FBEng, FCMI, I.Eng, MIET, P.Eng, FSPE, MBIFM, F.I.Diag.Eng.
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